Mush

Going Far Ahead Of The Road

December 30, 2010

My eyes already touch the sunny hill.
going far ahead of the road I have begun.
So we are grasped by what we cannot grasp;
it has inner light, even from a distance-

and changes us, even if we do not reach it,
into something else, which, hardly sensing it,
we already are; a gesture waves us on
answering our own wave…
but what we feel is the wind in our faces.

– Rainier Maria Rilke, A Walk.

A wish for the new year, for myself, and my loved ones, and everyone: to answer our own waves, all of us. And to grasp, or seek to grasp, that which we cannot grasp, and to let ourselves be changed. And through all of it, always, to feel the wind on our faces, to let it blow our hair and kiss our cheeks and to love it, to welcome it, even when it stings.

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Mutha’s A Sucka

July 22, 2010

I found this in the laundry pile tonight. I burst into tears, and I haven’t yet stopped crying. Where did that baby go? Where did that baby go? How is it that time slipped past me so quickly, that she grew and grew and grew and the baby she was slipped away – while I [...]

Keep reading…

The Heart Stays Home

June 25, 2010

I’m speaking at the EVO conference this weekend, in Utah, which is really so much prettier than I expected – why I didn’t expect it to be so pretty is a mystery that I’m not going to probe right now, but I thought that I should I state it for the record – and I [...]

Keep reading…

Nobody, Not Even The Rain, Has Such Small Hands

May 19, 2010

He blows kisses, and my heart, it stops.

Keep reading…

Nothing Gold Can Stay

May 18, 2010

Jasper is two years old today. Two years old. It doesn’t seem possible that so much time has passed since he was born. It doesn’t seem possible that so little time has passed since he was born. It doesn’t seem possible that this baby… … this sweet-faced cherub with the heart-crunchingly dimpled cheeks…

67 comments Keep reading…

PS, I Love You

May 14, 2010

Palm Springs was amazing. I wandered the desert and climbed mountains and ate sushi and lounged in spas and met the Lord of the Cellos and fell in love with a three-legged dog…

Keep reading…

To Her Whose Heart Is My Quiet Home

May 9, 2010

To her whose heart is my heart’s quiet home, To my first Love, my Mother, on whose knee I learnt love-lore that is not troublesome; Whose service is my special dignity, And she my loadstar while I go and come – Christina Rossetti, 1881 Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. And happy, happy day to all mothers, [...]

Keep reading…

This Is The Way The World Ends, Not With A Bang, But A Haircut

February 18, 2010

This boy? This wee, mop-headed baby boy is gone. With one careless, husband-directed trip to the hair salon, he is no more. He is now boy-boy. Again, only more so this time, so much more – I don’t know – Junior Banker, if Junior Bankers had front comb-overs, which I suppose some of them do:

84 comments Keep reading…

The Never-Ending Story

December 31, 2009

The question was: what story are you telling yourself right now? (And, can you give yourself permission to change the ending?) The answer was: this year, this decade, is ending in sadness. This year, this decade, is ending and my heart is wrapped in grief. But: I can give myself permission to change the ending. [...]

1 comment Keep reading…

Comfort And Joy

December 29, 2009

Christmas has come and gone and we are still picking figurative tinsel out of our hair, even as we move forward into a difficult week, clinging to the hangover of joy so that whatever pain the next few days bring is blunted by its residue. We’ve come west to try to finish the work of [...]

2 comments Keep reading…