And On The Seven-Hundredth Day, She Rested

February 27, 2009

Sleep has come to our household.

Sleep has come to our household.

I’m reluctant to say too much about it, or even to explain it (let’s just say that a combination of doctorly advice and husbandly heroism and sheer desperation and luck and blessedness probably have much to do with it.) I am terrified that if I even say the words aloud – sleep, glorious sleep, how I have missed you! – the gods will be quick to smite me for my arrogance and ingratitude. So I am reserving any commentary on this issue until I am reasonably certain that the gods are no longer paying attention, or until I have banked enough sleep that it doesn’t matter if they take it away from me again.

Because, sleep. Is precious. I want to hold it close and never let it go. So, don’t ask me how I accomplished this, what deity I prayed to, what divine strings I had to pull. Also, consider making sacrifices on my behalf. I hear that burnt offerings of 700-thread count Egyptian cotton bedsheets are particularly effective with the lesser Olympian gods.

Not shown: lesser Olympian gods.

In the meantime… my body has become convinced that it is going into hibernation (understandable, really: why else would it suddenly, after nearly a year of never sleeping more than two to three hours at a stretch, find itself curled up in a den of quilts, laying completely, uninterruptedly still for almost seven hours? Two nights in a row? I would make the same mistake) and I find myself wandering around in a sponge-brained, stumble-clutz zombie state, fighting off sleepiness at every moment of the day. Is this normal? Does this pass? And more importantly: is there a cure for this, other than actually, you know, hibernating, which is not option because 24 hours/day minus 7 hours sleeping = 17 hours, during which I’m still on duty. Are multiple shots of expresso my only recourse, or does someone out there have a cure for sleep-induced narcolepsy?

(Listen to me, asking for remedies to ward off sleep. I must be dreaming.)

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    Karen MEG February 28, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    But that little creature in that photo, now how could you sleep when he’s being such a cutie in those Egyptian sheets ;) ?

    Must Be Motherhood February 28, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Ah, where you lead I hope to follow…someday.

    Chocolate is the remedy for sleepiness. All hail the Cadbury Cream Egg.

    Loralee Choate February 28, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    I have a 9 and 12 year old and without a doubt I am most terrified of perpetual lack of sleep. My youngest did not sleep through the night until he was 2 and those who have not been there? have no clue.

    When he finally slept, I CRASHED. It took a bit for my body to recover and then I was good.

    I hope this lasts for you, I really do.

    WildbillthePirate February 28, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    Lack of Sleep: the story of my life…at least yours will one day outgrow all this & you'll block the memory of it out.

    Her Bad Mother February 28, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    Mandy – the ‘more kids’ talk is kinda done ;)

    Mac and Cheese February 28, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    I don’t want to upset your sleep equilibrium so I won’t say anything except that your son looks delicious.

    Michelle February 28, 2009 at 6:29 pm

    I’m so happy for you. No… cautiously optimistic ;)
    Here’s hoping there’s LOTS more where that came from. (Oh, and I know EXACTLY how you feel… I wanted to hibernate too after it was over…)

    just beth March 1, 2009 at 3:46 am

    well, first, congrats!

    mostly, in my totally professional opinion, you are probably just trying to catch up, you know?

    next, i have no idea (again) how to help. except to say i hope you have the opportunity to finally INDULDGE!!

    good luck, as always…



    MrsEmbers March 1, 2009 at 7:35 am

    GOD, I’m jealous!

    Anonymous March 1, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    I’m pretty sure every piece of advice I could possibly come up with would cause you to say I was talking out of my ass, so instead I’ll just say that I’m wishing you luck, you poor slee-deprived woman, you.

    Sarah @ March 1, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    You see the above comment? About talking out of my ass?

    That was mine. Sorry I suck, but apparently I cannot properly comment. Pathetic. But this alone should verify that indeed, I should never dole out advice. About anything. EVER.

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