Moms Without Pants

July 3, 2008



Forgotten in the hub-bub of the week: to thank this sweet lady for awarding me a Perfect Post Award, for this post. Am really, seriously, happily honoured.

Also, to suggest that you all check out this cool bit o’ bizniss. Because Larry Smith of Smith Magazine is behind it, and because Vlasic Pickles is not. I’m going to do it, whenever I can muster some creative thought. The birth of my child in 100 words or less? EASY. Why not do it in six? Baby burst out in one blast… okay, maybe this needs ten words… busting mommy’s bottom – BAM!

See? GOOD TIMES. Try it.

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    Black Hockey Jesus July 3, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    You don’t need pants to care. Your last post was so thorough and thoughtful. Now, you’re recklessly linking caring to pants?

    Lady M July 3, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    Haha, pants!

    I can do it in six words too: “Less traumatic than the first time.”

    flutter July 3, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    I have seen more of that woman’s ass than I ever thought I would

    mothergoosemouse July 3, 2008 at 9:18 pm

    She’s just been reading a lot of Shel Silverstein. You know, that poem about all the stuff the guy put on to look perfectly grand at the dance, but what did he forget? What was it? WHAT WAS IT?!

    Anonymous July 3, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    This really made me laugh. Yes, put on some pants.

    kittenpie July 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm

    Maybe it’s a statement about not going out in track pants?

    And 6 words? Hmm. Maybe:

    Stubborn immovable child, eventually cut out.


    Tricky you, delayed being forcibly removed.

    Candygirlflies July 3, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    One word:


    (That’s a word, right?)

    xo CGF

    Her Bad Mother July 3, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    BHJ – you don’t need pants to care, but you do need pants to LOOK like you’re caring. DUH.

    motherbumper July 3, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    OK – let’s look past the lack of pantage and examine the shoes. Seriously – what is her continuing deal with dominatrix shoes? Iron Man has been filmed and promoted, stop with the method acting Gwennie.

    Jaelithe July 3, 2008 at 11:03 pm

    So, does the fact that I was eating breakfast in an oversized t-shirt and undies this morning because all of my pajama pants were in the wash mean that I am just like Gwenyth Paltrow?

    Or would I need to buy some platform/spiked heels to complete the ensemble?

    lavandula July 4, 2008 at 12:21 am

    hahaha! moms without pants hey i run around in t-shirts and panties am i cool or what?and if i had great legs like that i’d be tempted to go out in public sans pants.

    Janine July 4, 2008 at 2:03 am

    Bwahahahaha. It’s like one of those dreams where you forget to put on your pants. Um, or is it just me?

    carrie July 4, 2008 at 2:39 am

    Flutter, what ass? :)

    Birth in under ten words? How about: Damn upside down baby boy won’t turn, too bad you ate a sandwich or you’d have him today.

    Ooops, that’s eighteen. I am awful at following directions.

    Polina July 4, 2008 at 9:22 am

    For kids – it doesn’t matter if their mom is “with” or “without” pants, they will love here in both cases:)

    MsPrufrock July 4, 2008 at 9:31 am

    Clearly I’m in the minority here, but I’m not worried about the lack of pants. I’m in such awe of those legs that I am too beseiged with envy to worry about a trifling issue such as pants vs no pants. Sigh.

    RubiaLala July 4, 2008 at 10:54 am

    LOL!!! Totally hilarious and I couldn’t agree more.

    lavandula July 4, 2008 at 11:29 am

    baby bump. out. now he loves mommys humps. awe.some.

    Maman July 4, 2008 at 12:41 pm

    What is she allegedly caring about? The teaching of anatomy?

    mrsmogul July 4, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    I saw the pickle story contest earlier but not sure if I can write it under 100 words!

    pamela H July 4, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    Hope that is not the trend for fall. I need my pants on.

    Dondi Tiples July 4, 2008 at 10:51 pm

    Maybe they’re hoping to conceive another one? Easy access and all?

    Karen Sugarpants July 5, 2008 at 1:34 am

    I’m a big supporter to Pants Free Nights. Go Gwyneth!

    Kristin July 5, 2008 at 2:50 am

    There are ten billion images in this tiny post — I am not sure which will stick more: the pants-free thing or the baby-out-in-one-blast thing, but both are characteristically brilliant. :-)

    Jaelithe July 5, 2008 at 9:17 pm

    Msprufrock, you know those legs are airbrushed, right? I mean, srsly. They have to be. Gwyneth gained 60 lbs during her pregnancy with Apple. I know because she was talking about it in a sort of a shell-shocked way on the Daily Show after her daughter was born. And you want to tell me the woman has no stretch marks and no cellulite after two pregnancies? Nuh uh. I don’t think so.

    THopgood July 5, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    Um….is that a dingleberry I see hang’n from her ass? Just say’n…

    1st baby – 10 lb baby is NOT coming out my hooha – C-Section NOW!

    2nd baby – Steel cervix, 15 hours of labor, no dilation, C-Section NOW!

    3rd baby – Scheduled C-Section 10 days before due date….oh yeah!

    therapydoc July 6, 2008 at 1:16 am

    Oh, you need pants, make no mistake.

    LD July 6, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    ha! That’s exactly what I thought when I saw that picture!

    Mommy Melee July 6, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    I’m stumbling around from blog to blog lately. Just hit this one from MamaPop because we evidently share ugly!hot men inclinations.

    BEST POST EVER. Oh, Gwen.

    Yeah, I’ll stick around

    Vicki July 7, 2008 at 9:26 am

    You must wear pants to be taken seriously. I mean, who in their right mind doesn’t wear pants???

    And my baby story in 10 words…

    Emergency delivery. Two boys. One cried. Both are wonderful now.

    Aimee Greeblemonkey July 7, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    Dude, I can see some as cheek there. I take that very seriously.

    Inzaburbs July 8, 2008 at 12:15 am

    Chortling here at the thought of GP pushing her fancy stroller around London without pants, and in those very practical heels.

    Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You July 8, 2008 at 8:09 am

    meh – couldn’t care less about celebs and their babies, because they’re just moms & babies. nothing special (besides the obvious enormity of being a mom in the first place) but you – YOU – that delivery story – holy shit. OUCH is right. 299 comments later – holy shit again. LOL

    I can has ice bag?

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