I really think that I need to get a haircut. I’ve been keeping it longer because I can pull it back and get it out of my face and if there is one place that I do not want my hair, it’s my face, but still, pulling it back does not stop it from getting messy, and also, I have this toddler who has a hair fetish and do you know what is worse than a messy ponytail that is not messy in the fashionable ‘Gisele Bundchen just throws her hair into a messy ponytail’ kind of way? A messy ponytail that is being dismantled, strand by strand, by an aggressive toddler with peanut butter on his fingers.

Not shown: messy ponytail, grabby-handed toddler, resentment of Gisele Bundchen.

Then again, every time that I cut my hair, I’m happy about it for, like, three days – it’s so easy! so carefree! – and then I wash it and I have this tangle of super-thick, super-coarse bobbed hair that I can’t pull back and ARGH.

Yeah, so. Should I cut this mess, and if so, should I just go back to my standard bob? Or maybe something like this, which is basically my standard bob, albeit choppier and with streaks of pink, which should never be underestimated as a fashion statement at the playground:

Yeah. I can’t pull that off. I totally don’t have a feather boa.

Maybe I’ll just cut it all off and color it red. Just to freak you all out.

What do I do? Cut? Don’t cut? Go with the red crew cut? Opinions? PLEASE AND THANK YOU.