It is a truth universally acknowledged that a cute fireman holding a kitten and a bottle of tequila will capture the attention of any red-blooded woman within kitten-sensing distance. Or, rather, it is a truth that I have acknowledged, although I’m pretty sure that few would disagree with me. Yes, I know that I’m dealing in clichés. But they’re clichés for a reason. Clichés are clichés, usually, because they’re true.
And here’s the truth of firemen with kittens and tequila: the fireman himself isn’t the clincher in this arrangement. Sure, cute firemen are, you know, cute firemen (see the video below if you doubt this), and there’s something about men who save lives for a living – especially men with a bit of ash and cinder smudged across the chiseled bones of their cheeks – that is undeniably compelling, but I’m a happily married woman with a rugged husband who has fought a fire or two (campfires, mostly, but still) in his time. So, the fireman really is the piece that can be lifted right out of the picture.
The kitten and the tequila, though. They need to stay.
I’m a really busy woman. I’m a really busy mom. I barely have time to breathe. I struggle with stress and anxiety and guilt. I need escapes. I need things that soothe and calm and lift the spirit. Kittens lift my spirit. So does tequila. Really, if you were to construct my dream escape scenario, it would involve cuddling a kitten while sipping a margarita. It would be further awesome if there were friends involved, but that might require more kittens. I don’t know that I’m willing to share the kitten. The tequila, sure, but given the dynamic when Amy and I met that one kitten that one time – she hogged that kitten, she did – I’d really rather keep that kitten to myself. (In case you’re wondering, there’s no such thing as tequila-hogging. Tequila is meant to be shared. Tequila is way less fun if it’s not shared. Kittens are a slightly different story, which is why, if you’re incorporating kittens into a tequila celebration, you need to lay down some ground rules. Like, THE KITTEN IS CATHERINE’S.)
This is the party that I’m going to throw – seriously, you guys – on the very first weekend that I have free: The Kittens and Sauza Tequila and Gratuitous Fireman Party, which will feature kittens – duh – and tequila – double duh – and during which I will air this video of this fireman and this kitten (you seriously have to watch this, because the kitten wears a little French beret. Also, the fireman. But really, the kitten.) And we will all cuddle our kittens – these might have to be plush kittens, of the toy variety, seeing as it might be irresponsible to adopt a bunch just for the purposes of a party – and follow the fireman’s directions for margarita preparation and just, you know, drink it all in.
(This post is sponsored by Sauza. I was invited to visit the set of this video – with this lovely lady – which invitation I did of course take advantage of, and so got to meet that fireman and that kitten and it was really pretty awesome. Amy and I did compete for kitten time. She will tell you a very different story about who won.
And, yes, the fireman really is that cute. Not that I noticed or anything.)